Dear Harriette: Dealing with grief is different for everyone, and there is no telling how long someone will grieve. I want to respect that in every way, but my employee, a young adult who has lost her mother, has been out of work for two months now. I understand her situation. She is about 20 years old, and it was just her and her mother. I am sure she is drowning in the unknown of what to do next.
As a business owner, I am in unknown territory as well here. She is a great employee. I do not want to lose her, but after all this time, she still has not agreed to come back to work. I need help. She received some bereavement pay, but I cannot afford to bring someone else in and also keep her. What’s the best approach to telling her she needs to come back to work or resign? — A Boss Who Cares
Dear A Boss Who Cares: You have extended your kindness to this employee above and beyond the norm. While bereavement leave is not required of a company, the standard amount of time that an employee is given paid leave is up to three business days after a family member’s death. Unpaid leave rarely runs longer than a week. Two months is extremely generous.
Talk to your employee. Let her know that you realize she is suffering, and this is why you have allowed her to be out of work for so long, but now she must return or you will be forced to fill her position with someone else. Make it clear that you prefer to welcome her back, but you have a business to run, and the position must be filled by someone. Start looking for her replacement. And if you haven’t stopped paying this employee, do so now.
Dear Harriette: I am 25 and live at home with my parents. We live in an expensive metropolitan area, so it is not easy to move out on my own and find something affordable.
We live in a two-family home. The tenant in our first-floor apartment passed away, and my parents have not moved anyone else into that apartment. A few months after he died, we agreed that I would take out a loan to renovate the apartment, move down there and pay rent. Two years have passed, and my parents are dragging their feet on allowing me to begin renovations. At this point, I am tired of waiting on them to make things happen for me. Should I take my chances and move out on my own, or just continue to wait it out? Renting here would be cheaper than anywhere else, but I cannot wait any longer. — Waiting a Lifetime
Dear Waiting a Lifetime: As an adult, it is time for you to take control of your life. Evaluate your circumstances — your income, your savings and your plan for the future. Start looking for apartments to get a sense of what is available on the market. Save every dollar that you can to build a nest egg for whenever you leave. Have a serious conversation with your parents about your plans and your desire to continue to live in their house, but also your need to move in a particular time frame if they are unwilling to greenlight the renovation.
Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.
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Sense and Sensitivity: Time is up for grieving employee - Eureka Times-Standard
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