DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a valued employee who has worked with me for several years. She is hitting her stride, doing very well for my small company. I fear that she is about to leave.

I gave her a raise this year, which I thought was an incentive and proof that I value her, but I don’t know if it’s enough.

I cannot give her another raise yet. My income is not stable enough.

What can I do to let her know how much I value her and want her to continue to grow with me?

— Please Stay

DEAR PLEASE STAY: Talk to her about her plans.

Ask her how she likes working for you and if she is happy. Tell her how much you appreciate her and want her to continue to work with you. Ask her if she wants to stay, and find out what her career goals are. Listen carefully to what she says.

You may not be able to offer her extra dollars, but figure out if you can offer her other opportunities within your business to help her grow.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have way too much stuff, and I seem to keep accumulating more. I don’t know that I am a hoarder, but I am sure that I need to declutter my environment.

Whenever I start the process of letting go of stuff, it ends with me putting things in another part of my home rather than purging.

I don’t have much money, so I can’t hire a professional organizer. I’m also embarrassed by how messed up my place is. I do have a friend who offered to help, but I fear that she will judge me if she comes into my space.

Should I let her help me? What can I do to turn my life around?

I wish I could just vacuum it all away — except I would never be able to do that. What should I do?

–– Don’t Want To Be a Hoarder

DEAR DON’T WANT TO BE A HOARDER: Consider it a gift that you have a friend who has offered to help you.

Yes, it will be hard to let her in, but it can be worth it, at least as a start.

Talk to her in advance and ask her to keep it confidential — everything she sees and what she does to help you. You need to trust her, so ask her to agree to that. Find out what tools she needs to help you with cleaning — trash bags, boxes, etc. Get what you can to make the process more efficient. Then, the biggest step is to let her into your space.

Do your best to be calm. Allow her to assess the situation. Perhaps you can choose one room to work on at first. Let her make recommendations for what you can let go of.

This will be difficult, but you have to say goodbye to things in order to declutter.

In addition to working with your friend for as long as she will help you, consider seeing a therapist who specializes in hoarding. You can gain tools for managing your propensity to collect things.

Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.